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[personal profile] gen717
I've always believed in the idea of "friends over fandom."  But I suppose when all people have in common is a small section of fandom, then "friends" is a word loosely applied here.  I've noticed, that since I've become a diehard Chlollier, some Chlarkers, who have been on my f-list since I first joined LJ have de-friended me. That's cool, I get that.  No harm, no foul.  I have a wide variety of fandom friends, and a wide variety of shippers on my list, most of whom are respectful and accepting of others' fandom preferences.  But, when I start to see negativity toward something I happen to enjoy, from people on my f-list, I think it's time to make some cuts.  While I respect your views, and understand why you feel the way you do, (I was there too, remember?) I don't necessarily want to read your negativity and hatred on my friends' page. It's your journal, and you have every right to voice your thoughts, rants, negativity, or hatred. We've probably all done it at one time or another. But I am a part of fandom as enjoyment.  If it's no longer enjoyable, or no longer a bit of escapism for me or a stress reliever, I'll leave it.  Life's too short to stress over TV shows, or lose friends over, or worry about who ships which couple.  I just can't deal with that crap.

So, here's the deal. Obviously, there's more to each of us than our fandoms, or who we ship, but  as far as my fandom life goes, I LOVE CHLOE AND OLIVER OF SMALLVILLE.  I've shipped them years before they were ever a couple on the show. They are my OTP forever, no matter what the show does to them.  I ALSO LOVE ARTHUR AND GWEN OF MERLIN.  I squee about both couples in the appropriate times and places, usually in their respective communities.  If you don't care about that stuff, cool.  If that bothers you in any way, shape or form, I won't be offended if you de-friend me.  Let me clarify.  I have no problem if people ship other couples, or are multi-shippers.  Many on my f-list do.  It's the hatred and fandom drama that turns me off.
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Date: 2010-11-03 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-moonie.livejournal.com
Love ya honey!! How you been?

Date: 2010-11-03 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Hi Jan! *hugs*

I've been busy with work mostly. Cuts into my fandom fun! LOL Looking forward to some time off around the holidays. How are you?

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From: [identity profile] eternal-moonie.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-03 01:54 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-11-03 01:49 pm (UTC)
ext_194400: (merlin || a+m || hug)
From: [identity profile] denija.livejournal.com
When it comes to "Merlin", I ship Arthur/Gwen, Arthur/Morgana and Arthur/Merlin. So, if this bothers you, I will understand if you want to de-friend me. But I'm totally okay with you shipping whatever you want. :)

Date: 2010-11-03 01:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Nope. Doesn't bother me at all, sweetie! I don't get hung up on that stuff. People should ship who they want without putting down other ships or their fans. Lots of other multi-shippers on my list, and as long as people are respectful, I don't have a problem at all. It's when others start spewing hate and nonsense that bothers me. You're good. :)

*I should probably specify this in my entry*
Edited Date: 2010-11-03 01:52 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-11-03 01:54 pm (UTC)
ext_68137: (marcus john)
From: [identity profile] maiel-alcinoe.livejournal.com
I totally agree. For a change. And I love Arthur and Gwen too. Gwen totally owns Arthur.

Date: 2010-11-03 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
We are usually in agreement! LOL I didn't know you shipped A/G! woohoo! I love them. But I also enjoy other characters on the show too.

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From: [identity profile] maiel-alcinoe.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-03 02:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-11-03 01:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurelnola.livejournal.com
If you defriend me, I will totally hunt you down. Er, in a friendly way, of course. ;-)

Date: 2010-11-03 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I would never de-friend you, love. *hugs Dawn*

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Date: 2010-11-03 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] farmgirl62.livejournal.com
Can I just say an "AMEN!" to your comment about not wanting negativity.

You go girl.

Date: 2010-11-03 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm involved in fandom as a stress reliever, some bit of escapism. When it causes stress, it's time to leave it. I'm not saying that no one can have criticisms about how a show is written, or how characters are written or portrayed, or even intelligent debate/discussion. But when things start to feel like school-yard bickering, whining and complaining, and fans start putting characters or each other down needlessly, I'm out. That's not fun at all.

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From: [identity profile] farmgirl62.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-03 07:08 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-04 12:59 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-11-03 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ziva21.livejournal.com
I confess to be a multi shipper. I really watched Smallville since Season 6 and I liked Lois/Oliver very much at this Time but after I saw "Siren" I know Chlollie will Rock Smallville. I never really like Jimmy/Chloe or Davis/Chloe but if someone likes them it's okay.
Do what you want and like what you want but please be respectful if I not like what you like or the other way around.

What I want to say is even if you, what I not hope, sometimes doesn't like Chlollie anymore I will stay as your Friend here on lj

Date: 2010-11-03 02:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Being a multi-shipper is great! You have so much to watch for. I don't mind that at all. I agree as long as people are respectful, there's no problem. Fandom should be fun.

I will always love Chlollie, no matter what happens to them on the show. *hugs*

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From: [identity profile] kitmerlot1213.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-03 02:32 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-03 02:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-11-03 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladygawain.livejournal.com
Word to everything you said -- hatred and drama are awful! Hello, Gen!!!! *waves*

I've been MIA, and I woke up this morning and really missed Chlollie, it was such an odd feeling. I want Chloe back, and I want them in scenes together already! I think I need to sit down and write fic or something. Also, I just started watching Merlin and I am in love with A/G!!!!

Date: 2010-11-03 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I'm so glad to see you around. I've missed you!

I know fandom can be a touchy place to be, but I really have no problem with anyone loving other ships or things about a show. I'm just so weary of all the hate and negativity. Of course people have a right to their opinions, and as long as others are respectful I have no problem with it if those opinions are different from my own. We're all fans of the same show. A little respect would go a long way.

Yay! So glad you've started watching Merlin. Something else we can fangirl over! :)

Date: 2010-11-03 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iliana-1.livejournal.com
*CLINGS*

My Smallville fandom mantra is simple. Chloe > All. I do find myself feeling a little adrift even in the Chloe fandom now, which is sad.

Date: 2010-11-03 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I know what you mean. I'm not sure where I fit in other than being a Chloe/Oliver/Chlollie fan. Other ships really don't bother me. I'm just tired of negativity, and it's everywhere it seems.

Date: 2010-11-03 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] threemeows.livejournal.com
Hey hey. ;D

How you been?

Date: 2010-11-03 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I've been good. Very busy with work. I've been missing my Merlin fandom lately, and mostly lurking but plan to be around more. :)

Date: 2010-11-03 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyra-and-co.livejournal.com
sometimes I miss the good old time when there was only a handful of chlollie fans. I loved seeing your cute first fanarts & read the first chlollie fics by Fina. chlarkers & cloisers were in "war" & we were in our heaven place :)
but that's the problem, when something becomes popular, the hating grows too.

But no disheartening, the chlollie lj comm is an awesome place & chlolliers are amazing. I'm happy to be in this fandom full of talents.(the same with A/G)

Date: 2010-11-03 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
but that's the problem, when something becomes popular, the hating grows too

This. It was so easy to have a safe haven back then. We still have our safe havens, but venturing out of them can be scary. The hate I see is appalling.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] smallvillefics.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-05 06:26 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-11-03 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ovariesofsteel.livejournal.com
Yeah I don't even make this type of post. I just defriend when it gets too much!

Date: 2010-11-04 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I usually don't either, because IMO it kind of adds to the very drama I'm wanting to avoid. But, I think last night was the last straw. I saw too many hateful things in places I didn't expect, realized I'd been de-friended by long-time LJ friends, for no apparent reason other than I'm no longer a Chlarker, and then read more negative stuff on LJ today. Maybe I just need to take a short hiatus.. LOL

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] ovariesofsteel.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-11-04 03:18 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-11-03 04:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crazy4dw.livejournal.com
Awwww, that's rough! I totally understand de-friending people you've never interacted or talked with. But I don't get it when people use shipping preferences to do so. It just seems so mean and small-minded. I know a couple of people on my flist who support ships that I utterly don't understand, but I don't go out of my way to alienate them just because I don't agree with them. And seriously, I don't understand how someone can hate Chlollie. They're just so adorable.

Hope to squee with you in the future! :)

Date: 2010-11-04 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I had no idea people de-friended me over it until today. That coupled with all the horrible things I've been seeing around the net sort of upset me. I don't care who anyone ships, and I'm like you in that I may not ship it, but nor do I trash what someone else loves.

Chlollie IS adorable. I can't wait to see what happens when Chloe comes back. I'll squee right along with you!

Date: 2010-11-03 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halo-jess.livejournal.com
I love your Oliver/Chloe stories SO much, that I would NEVER de-friend, and hope the same for ya:D Besides you're awesome missy! :)

Date: 2010-11-04 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Thank you, Jess! :)

Date: 2010-11-03 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mfirefly10.livejournal.com
Arthur/Gwen!!! ♥

Honestly, I've never understood the whole ship-wars thing. Maybe it's because I'm a multishipper but I never saw any point in bashing someone else's ship-of-choice (or even worse, bashing another fan because of who they ship). 'Ship and let 'ship, I say :)

Date: 2010-11-04 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
ITA. Ship and let ship. Perfect motto. Seriously does not bother me who anyone ships, and I don't trash talk, so I don't appreciate having to read it just about everywhere I go.

Date: 2010-11-03 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillie-poo-pod.livejournal.com
*squishes* I know I've been sucking a lot wrt commenting but thanks for not cutting me. :)

Date: 2010-11-04 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
No worries, Lillie. We go back a long way, and I know you've been busy with real life and not as immersed in things as you were before. I know how you feel about Chlark and Chlollie and Arwen. I admit it was a little weird seeing that some of the old Chlarkers had removed me, but I understand that. I'm just so tired of Chloe bashing and Chlollie bashing, that I don't want to see it anymore, and would rather hide in a bubble of Chlollie love than read any more crap no matter where it comes from.

*hugs*

Date: 2010-11-03 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellanorasedai.livejournal.com
Chlean 4-EVAH!! *teases* *hugs*

Date: 2010-11-04 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Heeee.. I love them too.

Date: 2010-11-03 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com
Word. And you're nicer than me cause I just defriend without explanation most of the time.

Date: 2010-11-04 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I wouldn't normally give an explanation, but I think it was the last straw for me. I'm seeing so much hate and negativity just about everywhere I go. It's tiring. Guess I needed to say something and just let anyone else know that if they do friend me, this is what they're going to get. I'm a Chlollier and if that offends anyone, they don't have to keep me on their f-list.

Date: 2010-11-03 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fickery.livejournal.com
I for one really appreciate how hard you and [profile] maiel_alcinoe work to keep the negativity out of the Chlollie community, so it must suck to get blindsided with it on your f-list. I'm just staying in my happy Chlollie bubble, not reading angstfic, not going to K-site...I don't have a problem with people who ship differently than me, or multi-shippers either; the Glee fandom, to name just one example, has so many different ships it's not even funny. But I haven't seen any nastiness there, either--everyone just shrugs and ships who they wanna ship and gets along with each other.

Everything doesn't have to be a competition or life-and-death. At the end of the day, it IS just a TV show. :-)

Date: 2010-11-04 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I've been staying away from the angsty fics too. There's enough on the show to last me awhile. Yup. It's a TV show, no need for people to get so bent out of shape. I've been seeing some of the craziest shit lately going on in fandom, and it's just annoying. I don't have a problem with anyone else's ships. Nor would I de-friend anyone over it, as long as they are respectful.

Chlollie bubble is the best place to be. :)

I'm glad you feel comfortable in the comm. It's a safe haven for Chlolliers and always will be.

Date: 2010-11-03 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaliebrown363.livejournal.com
I'm a Chlarker, and I really don't ship Chlollie, but I really get why alot of people do. I'm just a Chloe fan at heart. AND, I ship Arwen like mad so we do have that in common, so please don't defriend me, LOL! :)

Date: 2010-11-04 12:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I won't defriend you, love. I know you're a Chlarker, I have no problem with that, I come cut from Chlarker cloth as well. :)

Woohoo.. Arwen! I love them so much!

Date: 2010-11-03 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nienna87.livejournal.com
I get what you are saying Gen. There is so much negativity with other ships who hate Chlollie so much. I want to enjoy my fandom without the drama because it gets me away from the stress of life. Its an escape and a freedom that I love, but having to deal with drama and stress within something that I enjoy so much really ruins it for me. *Hugs* girl you know you are not alone! :D You got the rest of us crazy Chlolliers! (is that word?)

Date: 2010-11-04 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I love my Chlollie peeps. They are some of the best fans I've had the pleasure to meet in virtual reality.

ITA, it's an escape. It should never be a new source of stress in life.

*hugs back*
:)

Date: 2010-11-03 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cifan70.livejournal.com
I SHIP EVERYONE!!! :p

I try to make that statement known so that haters, bashers or whatever are aware and don't friend me if they don't want to. I am well aware of your shipping and I am fine with it.

Date: 2010-11-04 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
There's nothing wrong with multi-shipping and I actually think that's great! Multi-shippers probably get more enjoyment out of a show than anyone. It doesn't really matter to me who anyone ships, as long as they are respectful of others. We really can co-exist!

Date: 2010-11-03 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kryptolori.livejournal.com
Hey Gen :) the hate lately has been shocking lol what I hate is the generalisations. I'm ignoring so much of it now, I'm just going to RT and spread the love lol because at the end of the day the writers/showrunners are going to do whatever they hell they want, we're just along for the ride, it's a crazy ride but I wouldn't be anywhere else because I love my hardcore Chlollie peeps and my Chlollie :)

Date: 2010-11-04 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
It really has gotten out of hand. The only way I know to combat it is to ignore it, and to keep spreading the love.

Date: 2010-11-04 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
Proud multi-shipper here! *cuddly cuddles*

Glad to see everything's sorted now. I find it easier to completely disregard show canon and live in the happy world of fanfic. Like you said, it sucks to be a Chloe fan, because it really does feel like we're walking timebombs. :-(

Date: 2010-11-04 01:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
I think it's great that you're a multi-shipper! More to love. I've multi-shipped Chloe too. I'm so tired of reading hateful things though about Chloe and/or Chlollie fans.

Date: 2010-11-04 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilmoochie.livejournal.com
Gen you are truly a gem! You were the one that brought me over to the green side. I love the "Ship and let ship," rule, it should be so easy. I multi ship and multi fandom too. What I've learned is that life is too short for the drama, I got no time for it. There is so much real strife in this world that strife over ships and fandoms is just so.....sad. So rock out sista, and keep doing what you're doing. You are fabulous! You rock the Chlollie house! :D Hugs!!!

Date: 2010-11-04 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gen717.livejournal.com
Thank you, sweetie! You rock too! *hugs*

Date: 2010-11-04 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purple-moon123.livejournal.com
Aww sweetie!!! *hugs* It sucks that people can't separate the ship from the person that ships it!! *sighs*

So happy that most of my LJ friends don't care that I multi-ship. They may not like Chlollie themselves and they have never made me feel any negativity for shipping it. I even managed to get a pure chlexer give some awesome threesome art!!! XD

And everyone really needs to follow the "ship and let ship" rule. Or at least realize that one character or ship doesn't take anything from another character or ship.
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